im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
