My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
