Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We are two peas in an std pod
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
