I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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