definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
