Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
