Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
