just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
