Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
