It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
