I am spending my child support on dildos
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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