Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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