FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
