it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
