He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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