Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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