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she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
