That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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