420 ftw
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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