singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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