Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Your mouth is God's brothel.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
