Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
