I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
