I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So many bounce houses so little time
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
