This dress was meant to end up on your floor
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
