I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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