did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
