I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
