I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
