dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
