I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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