I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
