Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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