Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
