I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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