also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
