I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
soo... how was my night?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
