I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
