Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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