I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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