their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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