You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
