When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
