fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
