I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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