Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
