Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
