sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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