nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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