another moral hangover. fuck.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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